Today is one of those days when I have changed my clothes five times, seriously.  It is 6:15pm and I am now in the fifth combination of clothes and what I hope is the final thing I wear today as I get ready to walk the dogs with my husband.

When this happens it can mean a number of things, none of which are necessarily good. It could be:

1. I’ve got a lot of different activities going on which require different clothes  (somewhat true today but not really if I’d made the right choice first thing in the morning
2.  I am having a bad hair day (totally true today, and, am I right, does anything knock you off your game more than a bad hair day?)
3. Or, I am just indecisive and can’t focus because I have conflicting ideas of what I “should” be doing versus what I want to do (also very true today but  I can’t emphasize enough the impact of the bad hair situation)

The crux of my conflict is that  it has been an amazingly warm day today. Unfortunately because it is a work day,  I am experiencing counter currents inside my head. They have created an unstoppable distraction and caused a complete lack of focus because, well, I don’t want to work today. I want to be outside playing.

Instead, I have been in my office trying to work but my eyes keep gazing out the window and a very bossy voice inside my head is saying, “Get the hell outside it is 70 degrees. This happens about three times in as many years.”

Then the other responsible  voice in my head counters with,  “What kind of professional are you? You already did that, you walked along the ocean three hours ago for 45 minutes. You soaked up the rays and watched the surfers now, be an adult and do your job”.

And just now,  when maybe I am starting to get a little  focus, like on writing this blog, then there is the light. The light is coming through the trees and illuminating the leaves at the exact moment that the unusually  dry wind is gently blowing them and I am mesmerized. My eye can’t leave it. I am watching the  magnificent early evening light shift across the front yard and now land on a hummingbird who, unlike me and uncharacteristic of itself, has landed.  Even the hummingbird has enough sense to slow down and take in the day.

My husband watches me in silence  as I flit around in circles, in and out of my closet and in and out of  the house.  His silence has been honed through 25 years of marriage. But  when I  whine, “I just  want to just be outside today and not work” he responds simply, yet emphatically,   “Then go outside.   This is why you own your own business.  You’re the boss. Stop torturing yourself and feeling guilty and dig in with delight.”

Oh I knew I married the right man.  We walked the dogs and I’m heading back to the beach to allow myself the pure pleasure of seeing, smelling and feeling an early spring sunset over an uncommonly calm Pacific coast. I will sleep well tonight and tomorrow I know I will be in one outfit all day, the others are in the laundry, having been used today.

Copyright 2014 Sheila Madden, Madden Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved.